there is nothing worse than being taken advantage of, or being made a fool of ......  by someone you supposedly love makes it even worse

there is something about trust that makes me very leary. What is trust? is it the same as faith?  i lack in faith and even more in trust..... and as a result i believe i have cheated myself out of love, joy and all the wonderful things in life

i barely trust myself anymore and i certainly don't trust anyone else. every living breathing moment of my life is consumed by trying not to trust or believe in anyone

it's a horrible place to be.

I haven't posted anything since March - but since then i have inherited a dog.....a full-time dog that i love to death.

the way he turns his head to the side when i talk to him, the way he looks at me like i'm the most important person in the world to him.....the way he trusts me and always makes me smile and gives me something to look forward to!  I love his personality and his enthusiasm and wagging tale..... he may just be a dog - but at this point in life i don't know what i'd do without him!!!

he's a mutt - i've had people say they think he's beardie, the vet wrote corgi on his records, i think he has some terrier in him and others have said blue healer. That's quite a mix hey?  He is blue in color - with long soft shiny fluffy hair....he doesn't shed but his hair is very long so he needs to be brushed quite regularily. he has floppy black ears and racoon eyes with a nose like a terrier. He's adorable and so much fun.

Funny how when life is throwing you nothing but lemons and $h1t, there's always something that comes along to make it all bearable.  He's my savior these days.